


Hastur And Ligur Become Tik Tok Famous

by a-waste-of-time-and-hot-glue (falloutboiruto), ReaperDuckling



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Comedy, Crack, Gen, Ligur Lives (Good Omens), M/M, Post-Canon, Social Media, minion memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22401109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falloutboiruto/pseuds/a-waste-of-time-and-hot-glue, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaperDuckling/pseuds/ReaperDuckling
Summary: Hastur and Ligur become Tik Tok famous. Crowley over-reacts, and Aziraphale vague-tweets.
Relationships: background Aziraphale/Crowley - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 87





	Hastur And Ligur Become Tik Tok Famous

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this tumblr post: https://weaver-z.tumblr.com/post/189722398389/hastur-and-ligur-accidentally-get-famous-as-fuck
> 
> this is an au where ligur doesn't die and please note that we(the authors) are not spring chickens anymore and don't understand tik tok at all.

_“What is ‘up’, fellow weak fleshy mortals,” an unpleasant voice said behind the camera. “Today you’re going to learn how to ‘lurk.” The camera flipped around and two men could be seen, one of them dark and handsome and the other one pale, kind of nasty looking and wearing a plastic-y white wig._

_“Some people say that lurking is for demons,” the nasty looking one said. “I’m Hastur and I’m here to tell you that isn’t necessarily true. So, what you do is that you stand around and look proper menacing.”_

_The camera zoomed out and there was a quick shot of Hastur standing around still, his arms extended outward in a T-shape in a dark graveyard with ABBA’s song ‘Waterloo’ playing in the background._

_“A very good example of lurking, Hastur,” the other man said when they both could be seen in shot again._

_“Why thank you, Ligur. But really, when you’re lurking it’s important to not be nice.”_

_“Yes. You should be very, very nasty.”_

_The camera cut back to a shot of Ligur kicking over a trash can in the very same dark graveyard. Then followed a clip of Hastur writhing in some mud and yelling at the top of his lungs. The video ended abruptly after that._

“So this is what Hastur and Ligur have been up to since the Armagednope?” Aziraphale asked. “Making these rubbish videos on an internet webpage named Tic-Tac-Toe?” He sat back down in his armchair, mumbling to himself.

“Armagedno-?! Tic-Tac-Toe?! Angel, the app is called TikTok! But otherwise, yes.” Crowley said, putting his phone back into his pocket.

“Well, I don’t think anyone is going to watch them. Who would?”

“They have two million followers.”

“Well, who am I to judge,” Aziraphale scoffed judgmentally. “Best leave it be, my dear.”

Crowley immediately winced (much like a guilty person), and squirmed his phone out of his pocket and into his hand again. “Uhm… about that…”

_The video opened with an awkwardly too-close blurry shot of Crowley’s face.”Hastur, Ligur. Your TikTok account, @hasturandligurPraiseStan666, frankly just plain sucks. Even Aziraphale wouldn’t like it and he’s the nicest person that I know. It would be best if you deactivated.” He threw up a peace-sign that barely ended up in the frame. “Peace out, losers!”_

“Oh heavens, no,” Aziraphale said, burying his face in his palms. “Why are you like this?”

“Well, you _didn’t_ like their videos so I was right about that, at least!”

~~~

@notaziraphale tweeted: Dear Twitter, the hubby has gotten into a nefarious feud on an “app” called TikTok. I, however, call it Tic-Tac-Toe to annoy him. It works very well. Laughing My Ass Off. Ha! Ha! Ha.

@notaziraphale tweeted: Dear Twitter, this is very funny and thought-provoking…

[a picture of a Minion(from the movie despicable me) holding a wine glass with a macro text saying “It’s better to be full of wine than to be full of shit”.]

@notaziraphale tweeted: Dear Twitter, Stop calling me a boomer! It hurts all of one of my emotions.[sideeye-emoji]

~~~

The feud went on for weeks. 

Once the two demons had seen Crowley’s call out-TikTok, they began to devote their content to making his online life into hell on earth. 

_“There’s only room enough on this social media platform for two occult beings, Crowley!”_ they declared in the TikTok that followed, and so the war began. 

Their respective followers immediately began to divide into teams. Though most of it was harmless, like fans gathering in real life to lurk or t-pose in the other team’s general direction, it sorta kinda spiraled out of control. Before any occult or ethereal being knew it, humans were arguing on various social media platforms about why the other team/TikTok-maker/occult being was more “problematic”, “toxic” or the ever so drastic, “cancelled”. Unfortunately, this had the side-effect of a lot of people’s feelings getting hurt over something that was, on a larger scale, rather insignificant. Which, in turn, had Aziraphale worriedly wringing his hands a lot, and vague tweeting a little in a feeble attempt to diffuse the situation. 

@notaziraphale tweeted: Dear Twitter, stop the violence! #tictactoe #i mean #tiktok

But then, because he was, at heart, just a bit of a bastard, he also couldn’t resist the temptation of posting the following: 

@notaziraphale tweeted: Dear Twitter, they suspect nothing…

[An extremely badly edited Minion (from the movie despicable me) meme with four Minions in it. If you know what to look for, they all somewhat resemble Aziraphale, Crowley, Hastur and Ligur. All of their skulls are see-through and the Aziraphale-minion has a very big brain with light glowing from it, whereas the brains of the other minions are very, very small.]

Meanwhile, the demons progressed their TikTok-careers into featuring various prank-videos. Hastur and Ligur made the first one. Since they were beings with little to no imagination, they pulled this classic one out of Crowley’s own book by gluing pennies to the ground and then videotaping him trying to pick them up. The results were hysterically successful. 

As retaliation, Crowley made a video of him filling donuts with mayonnaise and giving them to the unsuspecting demons. This backfired spectacularly when they, being demons, couldn’t tell the difference anyway and munched those goodies down like a couple of rabies infected cookie monsters. The video ended with Crowley staring blankly into the camera. 

During the course of this feud, countless pranks unfolded. Some fan favorites were that one time when Hastur and Ligur filled Crowley’s hair dryer with flour, with a snapshot of the results as an ending. The demon was covered head to toe in the stuff, looking miserable with his shoulder-length hair all white and stripey. 

In retaliation, Crowley made a TikTok of him _literally_ snatching Hastur’s wig. 

_Crowley held the wig up to the camera. His hair was disheveled from running but his smile was large and crooked._

_“Wig?”_

_Even though he was wearing sunglasses, you could tell that he’s winking._

_“Snatched!”_

He tried to keep it as a trophy in the living room for a while, until it crawled away one moonlit night, never to return. The next time the demons saw each other it was sitting snug and comfortable on top of Hastur’s pale head. 

_@hasturandligurPraiseStan666_ s next TikTok featured them covering Crowley’s bentley in colorful post-it-notes. 

Neither they nor their viewers were prepared for the fiery rage this sent the redhead spiraling into. It was a flaming, blind kind of anger that may or may not have inspired his next prank to go… just a bit… too… far. 

He filled a bucket up with water (normal water, this time! None of that holy, essence-melting stuff) and propped it up on a door for the other demons to stumble into. 

The results were… wet, and messy, with a lot of screaming and crying and general cursing. Crowley chose not to post that video. 

For a while, their prank-escapades seemed to grind to a halt, leaving their viewers wondering if maybe, just maybe, this was the end of the war? 

For a while, the doomsdays clock had stopped. Peace seemed to be at hand. 

But then, one quiet afternoon in august, the angel and the demon were rudely awoken from their nap on the couch by the sounds of Ligur and Hastur attempting to burn their house down. 

Fortunately, Aziraphale chased them away with a broom before too much damage was done. 

~~~

A day later, Aziraphale received a phone call.

“Hey Aziraphale, it’s me,” a voice said on the other side of the telephone line.

“Who?” Aziraphale said.

“You know, _me_.”

“No, I’m afraid I don’t recognize your voice.”

“ _Ugh_ -It’s Ligur. You know, the chameleon demon? Hastur and I have been TikTok feuding with your little friend Crawley-”

“My _husband_ _Crowley_ -”

“Oh yeah. Congrats, and all that. Anyway, I think this feud has gone too far. Hastur talks about Crowley in his sleep, it’s getting creepy. Even too creepy for me.”

Aziraphale knew just what to do.

~~~

“Ugh, what’s this? Tea, like stupid humans drink?” Hastur said, intentionally making his teacup fall over and spilling the hot contents everywhere on Aziraphale’s nice tablecloth.

_Deep breaths, Aziraphale._

“Hey, that’s Aziraphale’s nice tablecloth your spilling your tea on! Watch it, Hastur!” Crowley snapped back, rapid-fire.

Hastur was just about to open his mouth, presumably to add insult to injury and also possibly spit on the tablecloth, when Ligur calmingly touched his shoulder.

“What did we talk about before?” Ligur said. “We’re supposed to settle our differences, not aggravate them.”

“ _But tea is so stupid!”_

 _“AH-hem,_ ” Aziraphale coughed. “So, Hastur, Ligur, I’ve invited you here to talk about your TikTok feud with Crowley. Crowley, you already live here but I asked you to sit here for the same reason.”

Crowley and Hastur didn’t answer and only continued glaring daggers at each other.

“You know,” Ligur said. “If we joined forces and collaborated, we could positively go viral. Our followers are already getting tired of the feud, just this day I saw an tweet from Twitter user @notaziraphale saying that we should ‘stop the violence’.”

“Hey… I didn’t know that you had a twitter, Angel? Crowley asked suspiciously.

“I obviously don’t!” Aziraphale said, hoping that no-one would notice how sweaty he’d just gotten. “It says ‘not’ right in the name, doesn’t it?”

Crowley ‘hmm:d’ and leaned back in his chair, clearly not buying it. Hastur, on the other hand…

“Well, if our followers don’t like it…” he said. “We can’t influence them to do demonic things if they unfollow us, can we? What do you say, Crowley? Truce?”

He held his hand out towards Crowley over the table. Crowley only scoffed, but after Aziraphale had shot him a puppy-dog-eyed look he begrudgingly obliged and the two demons shook on it.

~~~

At last, @ _@hasturandligurPraiseStan666_ uploaded a video of not only them, but also Crowley and Aziraphale, (badly) square dancing together to ABBA’s _Mamma Mia_.

No explanation was given for the collab, but at last the feud was over.

~~~

@notaziraphale tweeted: Dear Twitter, all's well that ends well, I suppose. Back to drinking boxed wine with the hubby now. I love the delicious notes of plastic bag. Laughing My Ass Off! Ha! Ha! Ha.

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos and comments if you've enjoyed this! :D


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